Reva Lachica Moore
Dealing with Disappointment
The other day I heard this quote: "You can make all the plans you want but God has already made His and He doesn't feel like He needs to check in with you."
We all make plans, even do our homework and spend a great deal of time in details to guarantee success for what we want to happen. But nothing ever guarantees that our plans will materialize to our satisfaction.
I went to a meeting with some church friends. We drove many hours to Texas but once there, we couldn't find the place. We drove around the same area a few times until it got dark, which made it difficult to find the isolated place. We had printed directions from Map Quest but the streets were under constructions so the map did not work. Frustrated and worn out ten hours later, we finally found the place.
Dealing with disappointment is a part of everyone's life. Our spouse disappoints us; our kids disappoint us; our friends disappoint us; we even disappoint ourselves.
A young friend and his fiancée were looking forward to their perfect wedding. They've done everything: invitation cards mailed, arrangements made, wedding attires bought, but before their big day, the stress overwhelmed them. The young couple split. Disappointment dropped like a bomb!
A disappointment comes after one's expectation isn't met. Disappointment comes in varied intensities. It could be insignificant, nonetheless it could still frustrate. Not everyone can bounce right back after a big blow. A great disappointment could cause a person to spiral down into a pit of despair resulting in severe emotional stress, illness, even death.
A young friend had great expectations after marrying her fiancee only to find out that he was not whom she expected him to be. He was uncaring, irresponsible and immature.
After meeting a new girl, my young friend's excitement soared only to plummet down into a state of dejection when the girl rejected his friendship.
How do you react when things don't happen exactly as planned? Dealing with disappointment is something we all have to go through all our lives. When it comes, it is best to face it head on and accept it. Burying your head in the sand and not accepting disappointment is simply being in a state of denial. Dealing with a disappointment is an opportunity for us to grow and learn character traits like patience, resilience, determination and best of all, total trust in God.
It took me a long time to learn that God is very interested in my life, my goals, my dreams, my disappointments and everything about me. Before I knew this, I planned, I wished, I worked and got frustrated when disappointments came like a parade with no end.
The biggest disappointment in my life was the untimely death of my husband, Edwin.
Dreams were shattered, happy memories vanished and sad memories brought tons of anguish. This tragedy was the Mother Lode of all disappointments; smaller disappointments paled in comparison.
Years later, I found a great way to deal with disappointments. I learned to face them with faith. I turned my life and plans over to God. Proverbs 3:6 says, "In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."
"Lord, open the door if this is Your will for me; close the door if it is not," I always tell God in everything that I ask. Then I wait for His answer with anticipation but with a realization that if things do not happen as I've wished, I am able to embrace whatever comes my way.
Today, rather than get frustrated, I am able to accept a disappointment knowing that God knows what's best for me because He says, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11. Whenever disappointment comes to my life, I can actually say I no longer feel the blow.